Do visions of ugly Xmas sweaters dance through your head like demented sugar plum fairies? You’ve come to the right site for wish-fulfilment. We have so many designs to choose from, it’s not even funny (except when it’s hilarious). Here we feature a few of the categories for your shopping pleasure.
Santa may be the hero of every little child’s Christmas fantasy. But we know this crusty old fart isn’t all that and a bag of lollipops. We pull back the fireplace screen to show you the man behind the beard. It’s like seeing jolly old Saint Nicholas on the Jerry Springer show. Find Santa Claus with his fly down, expressing his true feelings about the holidays on our Yellow Snow Sweater.
Or, celebrate the mystery of Santa's true skin color by sporting a Black Santa sweater emblazoned with the banner, “I Believe”. It will make them question everything they thought they knew about this beloved holiday figure.
Kris Kringle also makes an appearance in silhouette clinging from the railing of his Runaway Sleigh and as a disembodied hand (a la The Addams Family) in the Gingerbread Nightmare scene. Each naughty christmas sweater isn’t just unpleasant to look at. They will make you rethink telling your kids that Santa is real.
Have you ever tried to actually make a snowman recently? The process isn’t all it’s cracked up to be once you pass the age of about 10. Even if you have the perfect “packing” snow, it can take forever to collect enough of the stuff to make even a mini-man. Then, they never turn out nice and round like the ones in the movies. There are always bits of grass and leaves or dirt turning the snowman into more of a moss man. The finished product certainly doesn’t look like three perfectly proportioned, smooth snowballs any more than the average woman looks like a Barbie doll.
The snowmen on our ugly holiday sweater make fun of the overly idealistic snowman body image in several hilarious scenes. We show two snowmen comparing the size of their carrots in Snowman Nose Thief, a Headless Snowman that had a run-in with Madame Lafarge (she even knitted him a scarf), and a chorus line of Dancing Snowmen idiotically prancing in the snow.
These are some of our favorite tacky Xmas sweaters. We couldn’t have just one design displaying reindeer doing the nasty. That would be too pedestrian. Even Sir David Attenborough wouldn’t be able to describe what’s going on in these “nature scenes” with a straight face. We started with pairs of romantic reindeer on the Double Date Cardigan and Reindeer Games sweaters. Then, there were three on the Menage a Trois sweater. After that, things got a little crazy with the Conga Line. That's a whole lot of reindeer sweaters!
What can we say? The audience for these sweaters just keeps getting more jaded so we have to make it increasingly inappropriate holiday sweaters every year. On the bright side, it shows how much the Tipsy Elves care about keeping our customers happy!