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Valentine's Day Shirts

Valentine's Day Shirts

You have to wear something on the day that celebrates the catastrophe of coupledom. If it’s a choice between Valentine’s Day shirts and a burial shroud symbolizing the death of romance, we know which one we would choose. Our novelty t shirts are less uncomfortable and restricting than typical shirts —and much more slimming. Check out our anti-Valentine’s day shirts if you are single and want to stay that way.

Like a bubble of methane gas rising from the bottom of a cow manure lagoon, lovesickness is silent and deadly. Once the thrill of the chase is gone, you are left with nothing but one opportunity after another to disappoint your significant other. This is never more evident than during the month of February. It’s no coincidence that the shortest month of the year is the one chosen to celebrate infatuation. The chemical rush of falling in love simply isn’t sustainable—and when you crash, you crash hard. Now, you can warn the next generation to avoid this trap. Let them know right up front that Love Stinks.

We think Johnny Cash sang it best: “I’ve been washed down the sink of your conscience. In the theater of your love, I lost my part. And now you say you’ve got me out of your conscience, I’ve been flushed from the bathroom of your heart.”

According to an Australian survey of 1200 young adults, almost half of people aged 18-39 have broken up with a partner on or around Valentine’s Day. We advocate for cutting ties before the 14th so you don’t have to buy a thoughtful gift. Instead of blowing your money on chocolate and roses, you can splurge on one of our anti-Valentine’s Day shirts. Go hang out with all your single friends and play laser tag or drink beer on St. Patrick's Day. Sure, the happy lovers around you will look on with pity, assuming you are a loner and a loser. But just as many frustrated and unhappy couples will envy you from afar.

The bold white on red design of this shirt is reminiscent of a vintage circus poster. But it proves that you’re nobody’s clown anymore. Wear it with your tightest jeans to let the girls know what they’re missing. Just because you’re not technically in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to spend Valentine’s day alone.

This design is not technically “cupid couture”, but we think it fits in well with our other womens Valentine’s Day shirts or mens Valentine's Day shirts. After all, if you are eschewing the whole partnership game you will probably be flying solo. Just remember what Woody Allen said and take comfort in developing a deep and intimate relationship with someone you love. This tan T with its picturesque view of a fir-covered mountain range lit by the rays of the morning sun is sure to bring a fond smile to the faces of your friends. We recommend wearing this one as a nightshirt so you can wake up feeling refreshed and…well rested.